tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18171692.post7001523272293473909..comments2023-10-03T12:20:53.726-04:00Comments on ¡Cecilieaux!: It's Time for MeCecilio Moraleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05283375962527765787noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18171692.post-88053890592337252092009-12-11T10:31:50.426-05:002009-12-11T10:31:50.426-05:00Chani and Heartin, as the man said in Cool Hand Lu...Chani and Heartin, as the man said in Cool Hand Luke, what we've got here is a failure to communicate.<br /><br />In Chani's blog, she took an experience and expanded it into a general principle more or less along the lines of "it's time to put myself first."<br /><br />I can't speak to the experience and did not attempt it -- hence no minimizing, H. My reference to her story was simply to briefly suggest the train of thought. I wasn't there, had no idea this had to do with the crazy landlady, whom I thought long gone. In any case, people will experience the same events differently. I am not questioning anyone's experience, C.<br /><br />What I am discussing is the general principle. I disagree that there is anything novel about look after oneself: this is instinctive from womb to tomb.<br /><br />As for what I sound like, H, how do you reach the absurd conclusion that I am "an apologist for women's roles remaining as they have been defined for a very long time"?<br /><br />When I spoke of the executive role, I used quotes on purpose and for a reason that I thought was obvious. No one would claim that "homemakers" are equivalent to the overpaid con artists with executive jets, lavish board rooms, seminars in topical places and taxpayer-financed bonuses. To reach that conclusion you have to ignore well-documented pay and time use differentials, not to mention the pointed particulars in my phrase "motherhood and similar traditional roles."<br /><br />A mother gets to tell a 2-year-old what to do and when to do it 24/7. She has to be constantly making life and death decisions. She is an executive: she is a decision-maker with considerable power -- ask any psychotherapist.<br /><br />Finally, as to raisins in the sun, I'm reminded of the Simon & Garfunkel line about wanting to relax "Talkin' to a raisin who 'casionally plays L.A. / <br />Casually glancing at his toupee ..."<br /><br />What was old Roger draft-dodger going down there for?Cecilio Moraleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05283375962527765787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18171692.post-74426402737459877872009-12-10T21:33:10.107-05:002009-12-10T21:33:10.107-05:00I think you might have misinterpreted some of what...I think you might have misinterpreted some of what I wrote. While you make some good points in general, I'm not sure they're entirely accurate. In my case, the complaints I lodged really have more to do with the fact that I am a tenant in this woman's house. The boundaries have been blurry, mostly due to my lack of skills in setting good ones. Basically, I am an unpaid caretaker with no legal rights. It's exploitation. And it's entirely my doing. She got away with it because I allowed it. <br /><br />In general, I think nurturing is a natural and wonderful thing. I also think boundaries and reciprocity are what help it to stay that way. <br /><br /><br /><br />~*thailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18171692.post-11909569556197616772009-12-10T21:23:17.847-05:002009-12-10T21:23:17.847-05:00I think you are minimizing the issues Chani raised...I think you are minimizing the issues Chani raised in her post on the basis that many women express such complaints, which does not negate their legitimacy. You sound like an apologist for women's roles remaining as they have been defined for a very long time. I can assure you, Cecil, very few homemakers are considered "Executives" in their homes, and the fact that they love their spouses and children doesn't mean that they are happy to see their deferred dreams dry up like raisins in the sun.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.com